Taming your tongue will improve your relationships and your life #4

Taming your tongue will improve your relationships and your life #4.


What is in the well of your heart will show up in the bucket of your mouth.

Jesus said: Matthew 15:18-19(NIV) – 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’ 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.

Wisdom is divided into 2 parts:
– Having a great deal to say;
– and NOT saying it.


The boastful frog:

Two geese were about to start southward on their annual autumn migration, when they were approached by a frog to take him with them.

One of the geese expressing their willingness to do so if a means of conveyance could be devised, the frog produced a long stalk of grass, got the two geese to take it one by each end, while he clung to it by his mouth in the middle.

In this manner the three were making their journey when they were noticed from below by some men.

The men loudly expressed their admiration for the device and wondered who had been clever enough to discover it.  Whereupon the vainglorious frog opened his mouth to say, “It was I,” lost his hold, fell to the earth and was dashed to pieces.

Moral:  When you have a good thing going, keep your mouth shut.


As a child of God, God wants for us to bring our tongue under the control and authority of the Holy Spirit.  It’s not an optional extra – that’s the model Jesus died for.

Have you ever wondered why when you tell your doctor you are tired and exhausted, he immediately looks at your tongue?

Why do you view patients’ tongues as part of your practice?

Answer: I use the tongue to gather information about a patient’s health and well-being. It’s a way to get clues about what’s going on in your body before it erupts.


1 Peter 3:10 (Amp) – For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days [good-whether apparent or not] keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile (treachery, deceit).

treachery = break trust

deceit = dishonest


How important to God is the quality of our tongues?


Isaiah 6:1-8 (Amp) – In the year that King Uzziah died, [in a vision] I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and the skirts of His train filled the [most holy part of the] temple.  2Above Him stood the seraphim; each had six wings: with two [each] covered his [own] face, and with two [each] covered his feet, and with two [each] flew.  3And one cried to another and said, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!  4And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who cried, and the house was filled with smoke.  5Then said I, Woe is me! For I am undone and ruined, because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts! 6Then flew one of the seraphim [heavenly beings] to me, having a live coal in his hand which he had taken with tongs from off the altar; 7And with it he touched my mouth and said, Behold, this has touched your lips; your iniquity and guilt are taken away, and your sin is completely atoned for and forgiven.  8Also, I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, whom shall I send? And who will go for Us? Then said I, here am I; send me.

When your tongue is touched you will be anointed for service.


In the book of James 3 – 2 things James warns us about in this chapter:
1.  That we are revealed by our mouth.
2.  That our mouth has tremendous potential for disaster.


Proverbs 18:20-21 (Amp) – A man’s (moral) self shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; and with the consequence of his words, he must be satisfied (whether good or evil).  Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it (for death or life).

It’s our tongue that sets us apart from the world.  Children of God need to have a different tongue.

That’s why God calls us to have a Tamed Tongue.

If we do:
– It will be clear evidence that we are Christians.
– It’s evidence we’re walking in obedience.


Here are some more tongues we need to consider in our daily walk with Jesus.


# The belittling [afkraak] tongue.

Ephesians 4:29 (Amp) – Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.

If you belittle, you’ll be little!

Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you, or do you focus on their shortcomings rather than their good points?

If someone speaks well of a person you’re not to fond of, do you reply with a negative response and run the person down – belittling them?

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NASB) – Therefore ENCOURAGE one another and BUILD UP one another, just as you are doing.

During a building operation a hammer is used for demolition as well as the construction process.  Our words are like that – they can tear down or they can build.

How do you use your words mostly?  Is it your normal behaviour to build?  If not, ask God to help you to change your heart.  Make a quality choice to form a habit to be an encourager who builds up!

May we choose to be big, not be little.


# The cynical [sinies] tongue. (Distrustful – Not sincere)

Cynic:  Always finding fault; making comments disrespectfully; making something important less so.

They criticize acts of kindness; Always critical of peoples motives

Afrikaans:  skerp / sinies

Eliab, David’s oldest brother was a true cynic.  David knew who his God was and that he had a covenant with Him.

He could have destroyed what God wanted to do.

1 Samuel 17:36 (Amp) – Your servant killed both the lion and the bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them, for he has defied the armies of the living God!

Obviously, this was not for Eliab.

1 Samuel 17:28-29 (Amp) – Now Eliab his eldest brother heard what he said to the men; and Eliab’s anger was kindled against David, and he said, why did you come here? With whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and evilness of heart; for you came down that you might see the battle. And David said, what have I done now? Was it not a harmless question?


Eliab whose name meant “God is my Father” – imagine one with such a name running from the giant and being cynical about David’s confidence and his motives.

A person, who is cynical, scorns [spot] the motives of others.  It’s like venom; it poisons the atmosphere wherever it is present.

Find a cynical tongue – it can drag weaker minded people down.

We must really observe our comments wherever we are.

If you identify things coming out of your mouth that you know ought not to be coming out of your mouth…
When bitter water comes out of your sweet fountain…


This will be the key:
To your spiritual strength or weakness.
To your spiritual effectiveness or ineffectiveness.
To your spiritual victory or defeat.
To your spiritual power or being powerless.


James 1:26 (LB) – Anyone who says he is a Christian but doesn’t control his sharp tongue is just fooling himself, and his religion isn’t worth much.

Your spiritual success and maturity ‘gauge’ is your tongue.

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