Taming your tongue will improve your relationships and your life #3


Taming your tongue will improve your relationships and your life #3.


If your mind should go blank*, don’t forget to turn off the sound.

Blank*is when= you go into the flesh when you just vent, become ugly, angry, abusive, negative, destroy, and hurt people with your Tongue


By Pastor George Lehman


Begin to speak to yourself.  Ask yourself, “How am I doing with my tongue?  Do I need to change?”


With a look of satisfaction on her face a woman said to John Wesley:
 “My talent is to speak my mind.” John Wesley said:

“Woman, God would not care a bit if you buried that talent.”


James 1:26 (LB) – Anyone who says he is a Christian but doesn’t control his sharp tongue is just fooling himself, and his religion isn’t worth much. (What is your religion worth)


The clever people have worked out:
In 1 week the tongue speaks enough to fill a 500 page book.
In a lifetime = 3 000 volumes = 1, 5 million pages.


Jesus understood the problem and says in:
Matthew 12:36-37 (Amp) – 36But I tell you, on the day of judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, non-working) word they speak.  37For by your words you will be justified and acquitted and by your words you will be condemned and sentenced.

Clearly Jesus is saying we are going to be very accountable for the way we use our tongues.

Proverbs 10:19 (Amp) – Where there is much talk there will be no end to sin, but he who keeps his mouth shut does wisely.

No one ever got into trouble for what they never say.


Let’s continue to consider some more aspects of taming our tongue:

#5  The slandering[laster/kwaadpraat] tongue.


Slanderers make malicious, false or even true statements about others.

The intention is to damage their reputation, character or good name.

The truth is, given certain circumstances, anyone can be tempted to slander (run someone down).
Rare is the person who can weigh the faults of others without putting their thumbs on the scales.
You’ll never move up if you’re continually running somebody down.


Proverbs 10:18 (NLT) – To hide hatred is to be a liar; to slander is to be a fool*.

*Fool – someone who disregards God’s word.

One thing is that slanderers don’t have a place in heaven:

Psalm 15:1-3 (Amp) – Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary?  Who may live on your holy hill?  He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman.


Some people are so insecure and easily threatened, they need to run others down to make themselves look better in the eyes of others.

Resorting to slander is clear evidence that this person is not secure in God’s promises.


Think about a time when you made slanderous remarks about someone:

What was your motivation for doing it?
Why did you feel the need to blacken another’s character?

When we attempt to slander others by running them down with our tongue, we sow evil seeds for which we will surely reap the consequences.


I therefore remind you:

Proverbs 13:3 (Amp) – He who guards his mouth keeps his life, but he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.


#6  The gossiping tongue.

The difference between a slander & gossip.


Gossip refers to idle talk or rumor, especially about personal or private affairs of others
Slander refers to the act of spreading rumors or lies about a person to cause damage purposely

May not be to cause hard deliberately
Done with intention of harming one’s reputation

Merely involves talking about someone who is not there and is not as damaging as slander
Damages one’s reputation and good name

Not punished by law
Punishable by law


Proverbs 18:8 (Amp) – The words of a gossip are like ‘choice morsels’; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.

Do you sometimes engage in idle and malicious talk about the personal affairs of another person?

Gossip is like a delectable ‘choice morsel’ that we find impossible to resist.  It’s like a chocolate you can’t say ‘no’ to it when it’s being offered.

I’m certain every one of us has been guilty of this pastime; as a bearer or a hearer at one time or another.

The downside of such behaviour is that it lowers your sense of self-worth, because when you gossip, you tend to realise you’re not walking in integrity.

You see, a true child of God feels best about himself when he does things that are pleasing to God.

Gossip does not usually start with the intention of harming someone; whereas

Slander is a deliberate attempt to harm someone’s reputation.


What’s the solution?  How do you stop gossiping?

Catch yourself before you indulge.
Ask yourself why you are being a bearer of such news.
Do you need to be the centre of attraction?
Do you feel superior to know something bad/negative about somebody that the hearer doesn’t know?
Why make your ears a dustbin by receiving gossip?

It’s been my experience that people who are serious about growing spiritually, spend time with God in prayer are less likely to waste time gossiping about the affairs of others.

It is very difficult to gossip about someone you love and care about.


Here’s a warning:

Proverbs 20:19 (NLT) – A gossip tells secrets, so don’t hang around with someone who talks too much.

As I said before:  Nobody ever got into trouble for something they never said.


If you’re serious about being OBEDIENT to God and eliminating from your life…

A lying tongue
A hasty tongue
A divisive tongue
An argumentative tongue
A slandering tongue and
A gossiping tongue

… you need to get a positive, effective action plan in place.


Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you when you get out of line.

Psalm 141:3 (Amp) – Set a guard O Lord over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.


A great idea:

Maybe get a friend who you will be accountable to.

Make an effort to only speak that which is positive; that which builds up; encourages and motivates.

Romans 14:12-13 (Amp) – And so each of us shall give an account of himself [give an answer in reference to judgment] to God.  Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother.