SCANDALON
Circumstances do not make you what you are … they reveal what you are!
It’s our reaction that matters.
James 1:19 (Amp) – Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.
Slow to speak – if we get this right everything falls into place.
Our response to scandalon determines our credibility.
So what is a scandalon?
It’s the Greek word for “offend”, [struikelblok, aanstoot te gee].
It refers to the part of the trap to which the bait is attached
The word ‘offend’ means: a trap or a snare – stumbling block.
Explain a trap with the bait –
It’s not always visible.
We are all more than likely to take the bait many times in our lives.
Jesus said in:
Luke 17:1 (NKJV) – “It is impossible that no offences should come.”
Offence is a tool of the devil to bring people into captivity.
If you give him a foothold it becomes a stronghold.
Satan is not sitting in an armchair waiting for hell.
Revelation 12:12 (NIV) – Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”
Paul warned – 2 Timothy 2:24-26 (note verse 26)
2 Timothy 2:24-26 (LB) – 24 God’s people must not be quarrelsome; they must be gentle, patient teachers of those who are wrong. 25 Be humble when you are trying to teach those who are mixed up concerning the truth. For if you talk meekly and courteously to them, they are more likely, with God’s help, to turn away from their wrong ideas and believe what is true.
26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from Satan’s trap of slavery to sin, which he uses to catch them whenever he likes, and then they can begin doing the will of God.
Because of hurts, bitterness, unforgiveness, quarrels, opposition, unresolved differences, carrying grudges.
People fall into the trap/snare and are then held by the devil as a prisoner to do his will.
The devil wants to destroy relationships in marriages, families and churches.
If he succeeds, he achieves a great victory – Why?
Unity goes
Joy and Peace goes
Vision goes – Purpose goes
The very essence of our calling losses impact.
People take the bait of offence so quickly without thinking of the consequences. LET IT GO!
The worst part is most times people are unaware of their captivity.
The saddest thing is to see a person so deceived.
He believes he is right even though he is not.
Pride causes you to view yourself as a victim.
People think or say, “I was mistreated and misjudged, therefore I am perfectly justified in my Attitude Behaviour.
Because you believe you are Innocent you hold back forgiveness.
Notice verse 10 says “Many – not a few, not some”
Matthew 24:10-13 (LB) – 10 and many of you shall fall back into sin and betray and hate each other. 11 And many false prophets will appear and lead many astray. 12 Sin will be rampant everywhere and will cool the love of many. 13 But those enduring to the end shall be saved. (Those who do it Gods way)
I believe one of the great key ingredients that tests relationships is offence.
Can I just say this:
“We set ourselves up for offence” when we expect or require certain behaviours – from those whom we have relationships.
Listen, the more we expect, the greater the “potential” offence. There are times we must give grace to others.
Proverbs 18:19 (LB) – It is harder to win back the friendship of an offended brother than to capture a fortified city. His anger shuts you out like iron bars.
Don’t forget Jesus warned us that offence will come…
Luke 17:1 (NKJV) – “It is impossible that no offences should come.”
Did you know there are 4 stages of relationships?
It’s good to remember that:
People judge us by our actions, not our intention,
(“Example, Diet”) You can’t get thin on your intentions
“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.”
-Henry Ford
Relationships don’t just happen; you and I must make them happen. Don’t give offence and don’t take it.
4 Stages
Courtship / Fellowship
Confrontation / Conflict – “Offence Zone”
Growth / Maturity
Multiplication
#1 Courtship/ Fellowship (The Honeymoon stage)
Like the engagement stage, we just except one another and love one another we willing to overlook anything we see in the other person. We put our best foot forward.
#2 Confrontation/conflict
The grass is greener on the other side because there’s more manure there!
David said:
Psalm 55:12-14 (LB) – 12 It was not an enemy who taunted me—then I could have borne it; I could have hidden and escaped. 13 But it was you, a man like myself, my companion and my friend. 14 What fellowship we had, what wonderful discussions as we walked together to the Temple of the Lord on holy days.
Confrontation requires boldness not arrogance. Humility and peace seeking.
Confrontation is an opportunity for forgiveness.
The aim: To heal and restore the Relationship.
Think about this: Any relationship within the family of God is going to be as good as you want it to be.
Romans 12:14-19 (LB) – 14 If someone mistreats you because you are a Christian, don’t curse him; pray that God will bless him. 15 When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. 16 Work happily together. Don’t try to act big. Don’t try to get into the good graces of important people, but enjoy the company of ordinary folks. And don’t think you know it all! 17 Never pay back evil for evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honest clear through. 18 Don’t quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible. 19 Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it. Don’t take the law into your own hands.
You will either grow or go!
#3 Growth / Maturity
This is when we do it God’s way – not our own way
Maturely loving one another in spite of our shortcomings.
Proverbs 19:11… it is to one’s glory to overlook an offence.
Romans 15:1-2 (Amp) – We who are strong [in our convictions and of robust faith] ought to bear with the failings and the frailties and the tender scruples of the weak; [we ought to help carry the doubts and qualms of others] and not to please ourselves. 2 Let each one of us make it a practice to please (make happy) his neighbour for his good and for his true welfare, to edify him [to strengthen him and build him up spiritually].
#4 Multiplication
Matthew 13:23 (Amp) – As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the Word and grasps and comprehends it; he indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundred times as much as was sown, in another sixty times as much, and in another thirty.
This is when relationships are now mature enough to move on.
You can now encourage and be an example to others.
And thereby develop other meaningful relationships.
Never before in History as in the 21st Century:
Has knowledge increased in the church at the rate it is.
But with all this increased knowledge…
We seem to experience:
More divisions among believers and leaders.
More hurts and bitterness and unforgiveness.
More couldn’t care-less attitudes toward relationships.
We know it ALL but we don’t live it ALL.
1 Corinthians 8:1 – Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up and encourages one to grow (to his full stature).
If we keep the Love of God as our Motivation.
In all we do or say, we will not fail.
Love Never Fails.
1 Corinthians 13:5,8a (Amp) – 5Love is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride), it is not rude (un)mannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way for it is not self-seeking, its not touchy or fretful or resentful, it takes no account of the evil done to it (it pays no attention to a suffered wrong).
8aLove Never Fails
1 Peter 4:8 (Amp) – Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins (forgives and disregards the offences of others).
